Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
