The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize