Got a toothbrush?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
