i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
