I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She needs sedatives and a leash
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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