i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize