Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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