and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
