so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
