I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
