She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
