But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
