But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
