This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
