Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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