I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
