are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
