were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
