She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
