I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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