What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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