Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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