i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
