We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
