worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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