So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
