Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
