They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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