Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
