I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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