We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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