Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
