i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
