no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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