if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
