I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize