did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Randomize
