I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
