He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
