My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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