I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
