the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
