you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
