I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
