So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
