i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
