3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
