yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
