It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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