Need sex. Gaining weight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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