wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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