I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my poor anus
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
