Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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