My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
