Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
