he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
