why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
