My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
