Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
