what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
