I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
